Again, I would like to thank everyone who’s “buying” my blog. (Naks parang sponsors.) I promise my blog isn’t made in China (lol), my stories here are all true. (Hello, Chinese friends, no offense, expressions lang.) It’s very heart-warming hearing or reading your messages and cheers. I can’t promise I can continue making you proud, but promise I will stay true.
I also know some are saying “bat pa kasi napaka big deal nito?” or “luh, napaka bitter naman nito.” “luh, parang bata.” Yes, bitter na kung bitter. And yes, this is a big deal. As I told someone, this is more than a heartbreak. And I’m not Kylie Jenner who can easily hide from the public. I have a job and I go out. I can’t hide my tummy forever. So better be an open book kesa marinig nyo nalang sa mga chismosa yung buhay ko. Don’t talk about me or ask about me from another person, buhay ko to, hindi kanya. Kung gusto nyo makichika, I’m the only one who can tell you my side of the story.
To be honest, I’m still super mega duper angry. But even at times that he’s still not doing anything despite my kadaldalan online, I still love him. And this blogging episode is actually not just because I want this to be a way of moving on, but I also wanted to hurt him. This is one of the things he hates most – publicity. He gave me what I hated, I’m giving him his. If I know, kaya yan tahimik ngayon because he’s thinking “magsasawa din yan or mapapagod. titigil din yan kapag wala syang napala.” Ugh. Welcome back, nega thinker me.
24th and 25th
Yep, no update for my 24th week. The link to my previous post (23rd) is here. No big news on the 24th kasi. Thankfully, I had a normal week at work and at home. I missed a couple of events, but it is already expected. Thanks, friends, for understanding. I know I’ve been saying “no” since I got into a relationship, but you all are still there. Babawi ako talaga paglabas ni Toyo.
Which reminds me on that one night when I just randomly thought about my past – travels, friends, hang outs, I never said no whenever we had lakads. Well, except when work was demanding. But you can call me a happy-go-lucky girl back then. No worries, 100% free, low key happy.
My life was very different, and R was the reason of those significant changes. I became more patient, brave, strong, a little more kind, I learned to listen more, thrifted, I started saving money, value my work, and learned to manage time as an adult. And thank you for that.
Aside from those realizations, there was no big news on my 24th week. The interesting ones happened during my 25th.
My previous lab results (24th) was not so impressive. My sugar level (omg I think I’m craving for Chatime atm) was higher than normal, and I was told to be mindful on my diet.
High blood sugar level + scoliosis
Unexpectedly, the next and latest results (25th) was normal. Discipline is the key: eating less chocolates and drinking more water. I have to give credits to myself (and Toyo) on that. Here’s what I can share to the first time moms-to-be out there about gestational diabetes.
To balance out everything, here’s the bad news: I slipped. I was taking a bath and since I’m turning into the Goddess of clumsiness, I slipped. Fortunately, Toyo’s fine and everything else is normal except my butt which doesn’t feel alright plus my lower back is creepy tumutunog sya whenever I move.
Some say it’s all normal, and that I have to train myself on controlling and balancing everything from the diet and movements. Sobrang hirap. Especially for me who actually didn’t mind about anything until Toyo.
So yep, no big news for these weeks. Oh yes, except my clumsiness, blood sugar level, and a very unexpected message from someone from R’s past. Which made me realize blogging about my anger makes no sense (if not little), and that I still love him so much. Pagalitan nyo na ko for changing my mind too often and hope I give up na. Pray for me, loves.