Sometimes, it takes balls to be a woman

My post about Toyo’s 23rd week is still earning views. But, to be honest, I feel guilty making it public. I mean, I could’ve just opened it up to few of my closest friends and to my family, instead of publishing it online.

I didn’t mean to offend someone, or for them to look bad. Knowing a number of guy friends doing it, even those I thought I really knew well, or I trusted so much, sobra akong nagalit. Apologies to those people who got affected negatively by my post. But we all have to admit, I had some points, right?

But to be fair, I have to mention I knew he loved me. Just not that much. No matter what his reasons or excuses are, if he really loved me, he’d find a way. But he didn’t. And I expect nothing from him anymore.

It just hurts, and I know it’ll hurt forever. That’s why I need to find an outlet to let it all out little by little as early as now, to be able to be a source of strength and courage for my child. I honestly can’t talk about the whole thing in person, but my confidence for now is in writing. So yeah, this may be a very personal or private issue, but I am opening this chapter of my life to you, chismosang readers, for my own healing, not for your hungry ears.

Thank you, by the way, for reading it and for understanding me. If you (still) don’t, feel free to leave your comments on the comments section. Bigyan natin ng buhay yung discussion na gusto nyo. Also, thanks for appreciating my blog. That was the first time I published my WP blog on Facebook and made it readable by everyone. I’d rather write, at least other people can hear me, too, or better, learn from my experiences. Isahang kwento nalang. From now on, I’ll be an open book.

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The Power to Speak

I read that post many times before and even after publishing. Not to check the grammar, but I was thinking, did I really need to mention this? Ganon ba ako talaga? That post was for what? Na I’d need to go against that person just to prove my point not to him but to the public? Did I really need to look for kakampis?

Sorry to compare, but the power of speaking is not everybody’s thing.

I’m not contradicting my previous post. In fact, I’d like to promote it again today – here’s the link. Lol. And tell everyone, especially girls, not to be afraid to speak out. People may find you maarte or madrama or even papansin, well that is sadly normal already, but it is more important for you to find a way to overcome your fears and depression. If blogging it away is not your thing, maybe just talk to someone about it – someone you trust or maybe a complete stranger like me. 🙂 Hindi nalulutas ang problema sa ganong paraan, pero nakakaagaan talaga sa pakiramdam.

“Sometimes, you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be.” – Gossip Girl

I am lucky to be in an environment I can openly share my stories and thoughts. I understand not everyone can do that or have a choice to do the same. It is one of your rights, but there are also things to be considered – such as privacy, and of course, other people’s reactions. I say – okay, there are things to me mindful of. But at some point, you have to decide which is more important for you.

The Power to Appreciate Life and Achieve Goals

One thing I am also thankful of is the continuous growth of my career profile, and that companies form different industries are seeing my potential in my profession. Since I got my new job, I received I think more then five invitations and offers from other companies already (both local and regional). I rejected them all because of my commitment (and love!! <3) with my current organization, but I am very much honored and thankful for the offers and for just being recognized.

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Good thing my profession is in demand these days. (Which reminds me, if you’re an auditor and interested to talk about new opportunities, leave a comment below, or email your CV to maivargas@icloud.com.) Actually in all industries, especially Sales, Pharma, and Banking. Another reason I was thinking of IA, Compliance, and Risk Management (or some Legal topics) to be part of my blog. Yes! Abangan nyo yan, mga besh! Para naman may konting pag-iisip yung blog ko kunwari brainy.

Of course, if not because of God, who always strengthens me to do a job well, I wouldn’t achieve what I have today. I also have to mention all my mentors, bosses, and leaders who are STILL helping and guiding me up to this day. And, of course, to my bestest friends and family that are always supporting me and believing in what I can do best.

One friend once told me “hindi mo utang na loob yan. pinaghirapan mo yan.” which has a point. But think of yourself getting no help from others, can you still do the same? What if God is too busy polishing another part of your life, not your career, would you still be doing okay? What if you are living alone with no family at all, would you still have inspirations? What if you don’t have the nicest bosses to mentor and guide you, would you do better?

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The Power to Bear

Yes! Announcing this here today. Toyo is a GIRL!!! When the doctor said I could already know the gender, I said wag muna sakin, please separate the print. Because I wasn’t that excited. I thought either a boy or a girl is okay, so I didn’t mind them to keep it secret from me.

My officemate came up to this short gender reveal chuchu while we’re having our breakky last Monday. Sorry to those who thought were not invited. Invited kayo talaga and I think Jian and the others were expecting a real “party” talaga, but I insisted bec I was really excited na.

Kasalanan ng mga online shops, which I usually visit whenever I have idle or free time. They’re soooo cute. I got excited to choose from those little onesies and shoes.

Now, I am mooooore than excited to see Toyo. Honestly, I am already busy for planning the baby shower (???) and name reveal. Hope everyone in my list can attend the event. ❤ See you all there!

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3 thoughts on “Sometimes, it takes balls to be a woman

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