“You never understand life until it grows inside of you. -Sandra Chami Kassis”
I was never ready. As I shared on my previous post, I hate kids. Nang-aaway pa nga ako minsan. So that was one of my worries when I first knew about it. Not that I didn’t want to have kids, I just thought I don’t have enough patience for those little children. Kaya nga rin hindi ko pinangarap maging teacher, ayoko kasi sa matitigas ang ulo. But honestly, when one of my scholl teachers asked us for an essay about our life plans, or whenever anyone asks on what age would I want to have my own family, I always said “26”.
I always knew I am close to being God’s angel. Not because I am a good girl, but whatever I wish almost always comes true. (Totoo to, I tried “jinxing” it by telling it to people, but things are still the same. Not all, but almost.)Though I’m not yet 26 when I conceived the baby, I’ll turn 26 naman before Toyo’s birthday. So technically accurate, right? I know He’s always finding a way to at least make me learn something more about “happiness” and now He gave Toyo.
The struggle is real
It’s really a good thing I’m not “maselan”, but I still need to relax and take things easy from time to time. For that, I am more than thankful to those people who are giving me the good vibes and courage on this journey. You guys really are a big help. You’re my angels. And another thing is I have my blog, where I can now share everything I would need to share (or vent out??).
But of course, I had some worries the day I learned about Toyo. Good thing I am not “maselan“, and I have only few struggles during my pregnancy so far.
Mood swings never left, back pain is not too much but still there, food cravings are always the same. I honestly don’t feel uneasy, because these “struggles” are what I already have even before Toyo. I guess I am very lucky as other people think as well.
Well, except for the clothes. Mommy friends are offering maternity dresses which is super nice. Not all my clothes fits. Ang laki nga ni Toyo agad. So I have some serious problems especially for my office outfits. I really needed to go shopping just to buy loose dresses and shirts and leggings to make myself more comfortable. Dati akong size 7 sa shoes. But now I need size 8. And whenever I make my tummy comfortable, the more “maligalig” Toyo is. Ang bilis na nga lumaki, ang likot pa. Kaloka.
What To Expect When You’re Expecting
Everything is unbelievably fine. Thank God, thank Toyo. Except for this is my first time being directly connected with a baby. So how’s it going? I know few things already (maybe because it’s actually common or natural to be curios about pregnancy and baby things especially for a woman), but this book indeed is a great help.
I borrowed it from an officemate who also gave me some of her maternity clothes. Sobrang sweet. I didn’t expect it from her, but see, she’s now one of my angels. What To Expect When You’re Expecting is with me for a few days palang, but since it’s easy to navigate and all, it already helped me.
I learned that the average size of a five-month fetus is 7-9 inches. Toyo is already at 10.7. That’s why my doctor thought I’m already at my 6th! This book also taught me small exercises which could be a big help for my backpain. Naiinis ako kasi I have scoliosis. So aside from the natural worry of pregnancy backpain, dagdag pa ito.
So I guess this book is going to be a lifesaver. If you also happen to know some more resources or books, please do recommend or share. I’m always all ears. 🙂